Three years ago, I cried my eyes out at a scrapbook retreat. I was Skype-ing with Ron in Indonesia. Together – me in Hedgesville, Maryland and Ron in Sentani, Papua, Indonesia – we sifted through ten years of our family in one house. Just stuff but stuff representing memories.
A whole house narrowed down into a small pile of what Ron could hand-carry in his luggage. Most heartbreaking for me was choosing which of my children’s special things would or would not make that small pile. We told ourselves that stuff can always be replaced.
Over the next year, I saw my loving Heavenly Father, the One who knew me, who knew I had a red kitchen, the very same One, replace many of those things which were closest to our hearts.
At first I asked Him why, when I had given it all to Him, even those hopes and dreams for my future, why he was giving some of it back to me? I felt like His reply was, “Just wait and see.”
My Father God did impossible things, like arrange for us (missionaries living on faith generally don’t buy houses) to get a manageable loan on a house we loved in a neighborhood we could reach out to. He answered little six-year-old Faith’s prayer for a piano so she could take piano lessons!
He was tenderly painting pictures of love on our hearts. How much more precious to me even was His lesson of love for my Faithy’s heart!
Sometimes I still ask Him why. Sometimes I still wonder why. But maybe I am starting to see.
This past year and a half has been the most difficult ever for our family. It is now that I cling with all my stubborn might to these lessons He has been teaching me…
It’s not about a KitchenAid, not about a house, or even a piano. It’s about faith. It’s about my Father in heaven who knows and understands my heart. He sees me and He hears me. He loves me more deeply than I can begin to fathom.
A Father who loves us this much can certainly with no doubt be trusted completely.
“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Psalm 91:4
